Capitaan dildo arrescate!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
