Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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