Porn is love you can see.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
They took my balls.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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