She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
