He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
