I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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