I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
