3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
