Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
only you would photoshop your dick
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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