id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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