Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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