my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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