that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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