its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
