Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
