Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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