I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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