My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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