Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
