You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
