Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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