I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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