He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
