There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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