yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
