He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
