He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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