Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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