All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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