I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
