Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize