After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
