Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
