What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
