very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
