Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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