i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
