Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize