you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
