a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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