It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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