that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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