shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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