i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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