i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
