Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize