hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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