the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
