you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
