We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
