And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
