i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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