I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
