im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
