Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
