peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
