So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
