Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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