My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
