The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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