I must be too annoying 4 u.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
