i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
