"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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