Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
