i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize